Bob The Slob

once upon a time in a land far away
there was a odd sort of guy named bob
those few that really knew him did say
that guy is one strange kind of slob

he grew a 'stache, but couldn't have a beard
worry upon worry caused his hair to turn gray
his personality could best be described as weird
there were those that whispered he was gay

when he stumbled drunk down the street
parents called their children inside
for though, to kids he could be sweet
his scary face caused many to have cried

most of the time life treated him crappy
except for his friend, bert the talking bird
who said, don't worry, bob, be happy
bob ate bert saying that's the dumbest thing i ever heard